`Monday, August 29, 2005;__
boring
i'm here to post again. too lazy to do annything these days.
life is getting from bad to worst! aint colourful at all is just
so dull BLACK & WHITE! i cant take it anymore!
life with a partner is just not wad i really want. seriously
i dont think i'm ready yet but i still go for it. am i really
forget everything abt my past? am i ready for my future?
i dont noe i'm confussed!
life in school is just like in hell. nothing to spice up my day
no motivation no aim no goal no future no nothing!
i just so hate the word study! i cant study i'm not tt kinda
type who can study so i'm giving up. pls bless me.
yesterday stayed at home the whole day till abt 7.30 den went
to the cell group at one of my mums frens hse. alot ppl there
i felt really guilty when we all were praying. really guilty.
so today wake up at 9 went church at arnd 9.30.
was feeling really tired. went 888 to buy some stuffs den
came back home.den later relatives came . omg the baby she
is so cute! her name is angelina wu qian qian. haha really cute.
okay so went 888 again in the afternoon my bro bought a
bicycle. and yeas tts m y day! BORING!
do i really feel that way? am i really inlove with u? or some other feelings?
`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 10:25 AM;__
`Thursday, August 25, 2005;__
home sweet home.
Time really flies super fast! today is the end of our
3 day 2 night camp! yes and next gonna be our
holiday! i'm so looking forward.
camp was not so great cos i dunt like the groupings
i mena i dont like as in the sense tt all my close friends
are sperated! and my groups wads worst is most of them
are malays! and they speak malay all the time and obvioussly
i dun understand a single fuck thing ya. good thing
abt my group is they are all very enthu. everytime
when they ask us to cheer and see which grp is the loudest
and tt grp will go take our foods first and obviously my grp everytime
get the foods first! lols.
let me just talk a lil bit abt the camp!
[[ DAY 1]]
I was late for school! very very late! supposed to assemble
by 7.20 and i reached school like arnd 8.15! i got so pissed
while waiting for a taxi! i just coulndt get a cab at woodland!
so nvm i decided to take mrt to cck and den take cab!
guess wad? i cant get a fucking cab at lot 1 also after 15 mins.
so wazd damn fucked up and decided to take lrt to sch!
if i h ave to take mrt and lrt i wud have reached ach at arnd
8! damn it. so left the sch and headed to the Jalan Bahtera
adventure campsite.
lols i'm gonna slp now. too tired, the rest i'l post tml
to be continue...
`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 12:58 PM;__
`Friday, August 19, 2005;__
my lucky day.
Today is just my LUCKY day! yes i'm always
that lucky when it comes to certain things.
finally i'm putting on a smiling face again.
i told myself i have too. so, time in school really
flies, very very fast. before recesswe got i period free
no sci den after recess we got 2 periods free no art.
omg if our life in sch gonna be lk tt everyday is gonna
be so great!!! tooo bad. during self study ms ong suddenly
came up to me while i was readin newspaper. she just said
i want to spot check u and there she goes :
touching my wholebody!!
checking my whole bag!!
looking arnd my seats!
fcuk!!! i'll kill tt person if i know who he/she is! fucker!
everytime try to do this to me bastard! do it yourself lah!
ma de!
okay the times we spent in the canteen is definately the best
time in school! i'm still coughing kinda often. havent recover
yet. wadde hell rite. sick everyday! grrr. okay so went home
with teng rebecca & veron. nice journey backhome . =]
so when we took lrt home there was this bunch of sec 1
people. makin really hell lot of noise inside the lrt.
and we all were lk weariing the SAME uniform! gawd it was
damn paiseh okay. and somemore those gals still BULLY
a small lil sec one guy. tat lil guy supposed to alight at
bukitpangjang and those gals pulled his bag not allowing
him to alight at his station. they were pulling each another
and they obviously thought tt is very fun! OMG!! is damn
damn damn PAISEH! btw that guy only manage to get down
the lrt untill those girls got scolded from one of the aunty in
the lrt. LOLS me and veron was lk wow we like that aunty's
style mann. she scolded the girls for few mins, she even said
wanna complain to our principal heh. and tt poor lil guy
alight at keathong i think. poor lil boy!!!
seriously i think those girls really deserved the scoldings lah.
they were really pulling and making hell lot of noise.
really felt so ashame wearing the same Uniform as them! hais..
okay i'm gonna stop here. will be back. so till then CYAS!
HOLIDAYS COMING!!!! =p
`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 8:40 AM;__
`Tuesday, August 16, 2005;__
sometimes i just hope to end my life this way!
again and again i get hurt. deep down inside and nobody every knows.
nobody understands my feelings and nobody will.everybody just judge
from what they see on my face. they never really try to figure out deep
down inside my broekn heart how i feel. most of the time i play along with
a bunch of friends ,laugh lk nobodys business but deep inside of me i'm crying!
yes I AM CRYING deep inside! is definately aint easy to be who i am now.
is not easy for me to put on a smiling face everyday and its definately not easy for me to please every body with a smiling face. too much things happened at
one time, and i realised i cant take it so i hope i can end my life at this point of time . u might say i'm runing away from reality, i admit it but dont you think reality is just too cruel?
nobody understands and nobody will.
`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 1:27 PM;__
break down.
sometimes i just hope to end my life this way!
again and again i get hurt. deep down inside and nobody every knows.
nobody understands my feelings and nobody will.everybody just judge
from what they see on my face. they never really try to figure out deep
down inside my broekn heart how i feel. most of the time i play along with
a bunch of friends ,laugh lk nobodys business but deep inside of me i'm crying!
yes I AM CRYING deep inside! is definately aint easy to be who i am now.
is not easy for me to put on a smiling face everyday and its definately not easy for me to please every body with a smiling face. too much things happened at
one time, and i realised i cant take it so i hope i can end my life at this point of time . u might say i'm runing away from reality, i admit it but dont you think reality is just too cruel?
nobody understands and nobody will.
`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 1:21 PM;__
`Friday, August 12, 2005;__
lots of thing happening.
I'm just too lazy to post. i'm not so into
computers these days unlike last time
whereby i cant live without it!
so holidays just passed lk tt! i didnt
do a single shit work.
mum discharge from hospital. her phone
kana stolen. omg i hope tt person his/her hands
gonna rot soon! fucker! bought a new phone
but my bro is usin it. hais. so currently i m usin
my bro's phone and my mum is usin my 3200.
grrr wadever i dun feel lk typin. k shall stop
here.
`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 1:39 PM;__
`Sunday, August 07, 2005;__
jus not my month!
Too much too much too much things happenin
this month! too much for me to accept. too tired
to bother, i'm phisically and mentally TIRED!
i gonna collap soon. i cant seem to be strong.
theres always something pullin me back when
i wanna move on, when i wanna be strong.
this is life i guess. theres always ups and downs.
have been sleeping during maths lesson for the past
few weeks. and miss ng cane to talk to me few
days ago. she asked me if i've given up on maths and
stuff. seriously i dunnoe. i do feel lk givin up but
can i? aint in the mood this whole week if u ppl
notice. i am always putting on a mask infront
of everybody. i didnt want anybody to see me
in this kinda state. have been crying for few nights.
and which caused me not able to wear my contact
lens for the past few days. i didnt feel good when
people look into my eyes. cos my eyes are swollen.
have been really these busy these days. preparing for
the paragon performance tml and also the ndp.
imagine we stand under the hot sun for few hours!!
=X can die okay!! damnit. okay so tml we gonna
perform at paragon.. peep cum and support us if u can
ya? have been out the whole day. went to westview
to see my pri sch band practice. and den later anrd
11 took mr quek's van to my sch for band practice.
veron and ivan waited for me at BP and we went
back home together with joshua too.. hais den theres
this lady she damn fuck up la. bloody Bitch/ not gonna
mention wad she did. fucker sia.
hais so whole after noon stayed in the tan tock seng hospital.
my mum havin high fever and i mean really high ya.
she is now stayin there. gawd. it hurts me to see her sufferin
and yet i cant do anything. i jus cry together with her.
but i noe tt cant solve the problems. somehow i still
cant control my tears. they jus flow down. hais. okay wadever
it is. i am seriously hoping for a better tomorrow each day!.
well i shall stop here. will try to post often. so till
then CYAS... good nite peeps.
`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 3:43 PM;__
`Friday, August 05, 2005;__
a broken smile
a broken smile from a broke gal
who came from a broken family!
DEAD!
`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 3:04 PM;__
